Fri, Feb 14: Perfectly Imperfect Hearts

Dear All, I decided yesterday that I would not try to find a ride out to I-8 this morning. I do like to walk every step of my route contiguously but getting a ride out to Montgomery Road and then finishing my route 9.6 miles out in the middle of the desert and having to rewalk the remaining 4 miles to I-10 exit 200 just didn’t make sense so I decided to walk my 9.6 miles along a desert nature trail that I could pick up right behind the Love’s Travel Center.
A bit into the walk I spied a little heart rock embedded into the pathway. I studied it and thought, ‘well, it isn’t shaped quite right on the left side. It isn’t perfect’ but it inspired me to begin looking for heart shapes to photograph as I walked along amidst the desert beauty. Being present with the rocks and flora, the dead wood and eroded sand, the heat of the sun and the earthen winter smell of the desert I began to realize it wasn’t perfect hearts I was looking for. No, it was not a matter of searching at all. I was looking at, communing with, surrounded by every day, ordinary perfectly imperfect hearts. The day unfolded so sweetly with each step.
My husband of 23 years left our marriage while baby Jada was fighting for her life against Acute Myeoloid Leukemia. It was a daily life and death struggle. All of us lived not knowing, not knowing if this tiny little baby would live through the day. I dare not speak for the motivations of another but lots of marriages break up when a family is facing this kind of medical crisis. I just never imagined that it would be my marriage. And I can tell you I had some pretty miserable Valentine’s Days in the years that followed. Grief, loneliness, rejection stick out like neon lights on Valentine’s Day. Emerging from this dark grief and heavy sense of lacking slowly steadily, step by step over the years made this peaceful light-hearted communion with the desert on Valentine’s Day all the sweeter.
Make someone’s day sweeter and join the Be The Match registry today! Text LIFE to 61484

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